Lost
by AK holic
Summary: Alice in wonderland, my version of the story. in journal version.
1. Chapter 1

DAY 1

I followed sister into the meadows again today. i would have stayed at home, really, and continue to read that new issue of "WONDERLAND". It's the best mag EVER! So instead of lying on my bed, looking at the cute and hot pictures in the magazine, i'm stuck here, listening to a boring chapter of 'tales of two cities'. it's so _old_!

"how can you read books that have no pictures in it?" I asked, hanging from the oak tree. before she could answer and lecture me about the importance of reading, i asked again, "and do you really enjoy this stuff? it's prints are so _small. _and it has 200 pages full of that old language." she smiled, as usual, and begin to lecture as i continue to half-write this and half-connecting the daisies to make a chain for diana.

While i was fitting the daisy chain on Dinah, i spotted a rabbit. so cute, so fluffy. i would have done anything to get out of this hell of a story so i hopped down and followed the cute rabbit willingly. imagine my shock when it talked! I mean, literally! And up-close, it's wearing a red tail-coat with a monocle over one eye. He's holding some kind of old pocket watch and kept talking with a pretty squeaky voice, "I'M LATE! LATE! THE QUEEN IS GOING TO HAVE MY HEAD FOR THIS! LATE!" my sister doesn't seem to be able to listen at all. Duh, it's because we're 10 yards away from under the tree she was reading.

I followed the little white as it disappeared into a rabbit hole. it's pretty big and i crawled through it. it gets tighter and tighter as it goes, and i really want to go back but I'm stuck! my shoulders are jammed through the ** small hole! then the ground crumbled and i went down, feet going up, head going down, up again and feet going down again and round and round. i think i turned a full 4 360 degree spin! i have to show my teacher this! but in the middle of the sixth, i think, my head bonked the surprisingly hard ground but no bone was broken. the shadow of the rabbit started to disappear around the bend and i quickly got up to my feet and followed it. I wonder how i'm going to get out...

So much has happened today! i mean, A LOT! The rabbit really disappeared this time, i don't know which door it has gone through. And the room has either shrunken, or I'm the one who's getting bigger! the doors are all of the same size, so i can't guess. then a curtain moved. THE RABBIT!

no. it's just an old door, sneezing like crazy. "have you seen a rabbit here? about this..." i shook my hand vertically to show the height, "tall and this..." i mimicked, "wide." the door sneezed in reply. So rude! "hello! I'm a human and i exist!"

"pardon me, but you are simply just rude, madam!" the door said between sniffles and wheezes. "so sorry!" i apologized, trying to hide my laughter. "have you, by any chance, sir, seen a little white rabbit running through here?" i smiled awkwardly. the door sneezed yet again, "just went through me! but you don't want to follow that guy, the queen is really upset these days."

"my, whatever the reason?"

"about who stole her tarts and all that. really, she's too immature to be queen!"

"i quite agree..."

"if you really want to follow the guy, you're too big to fit through me! moreover, I'm locked!"

and so, i looked around. walls, doors, curtains. i turned back to the door. then turned back. there's a glass table! I'm sure it wasn't there before! but who cares? a key sat on top, and beside a glass about three-fourths full of an orange colored liquid. and on the glass, a label that said, 'DRINK ME! I'M DELICIOUS!' Hilarious! i took the key and drank the orange liquid. sour, sweet, salty and slightly bitter. not my type of drink.

then the disaster occurred! i became big! Now how am i going to follow the stupid rabbit or get out of this place? i knelt down and cried, which is very childish of me. i cried like there's no tomorrow and soon, my big wet soppy tears turned into a big wet puddle, big enough for worms or rats (for that is who i met in my pool of tears) to swim in it. a wet, grumpy rat came swimming past, cursing me with the worst of words.

"now look what you have done! I'm soaked! DIRTY WITH TEARS! your tears, you_!" he swore and vowed. and i was like, I'm right here, i can hear you, you know! then a crazy wild idea popped up in my brain. and since i'm thirsty, i drank my tears! WOW, i shrink into just the size of the rat and spotted a whole horde of soaking wet animals that is long-gone extinct already. the door gulped in the water, swallowing us with it.


	2. Chapter 2

DAY 2

I drowned in my own tears. The last thing i remembered was the words of the grumpy rat that seemed to be saying, "now what? you're drowning? you're drowning! no hope in helping you, girl! NO HOPE! you gotta swim..." And then i woke up staring into the grey sky that is drizzling.

"ALRIGHT BOYS! HUDDLE UP!"

i quickly stood up, remembering i'm wearing a skirt and saw the purple dodo bird screaming out orders. Non-sense orders that really points to nothing. "um, excuse me? but shouldn't we dry up first?" i patted the bird's wing. he turned and stroke his chin, "yes, yes... that will do pleasantly..." he murmurred with a strange look in his eyes, one up and one down, then shift. it's kind of creepy...

"Then we shall do the caucus race!" he announced. a race? i have no feet for running! there was a 50-meter distance between me and the next runner last marathon! and i was to repeat the whole thing! but before i could voice my objection, everybody had taken their place in the badly-drawn circle, dripping wet and constantly shaking to dry themselves off. Then they ran without a sign to start! And no sign to end! And i was there, staring at the stupid race like a stupid person.

Miraculously, they were dry! Each congratulated the other, not really caring who won or lost. The dodo bird steps on the mouse and officialy declared the race over. A race with no winners, wish it was back in my hometown. "but somebody's got to win!" i heard myself cried. the dodo bird does his weird habit again, eyes shifting and one lifted, one drooped serioiusly. "then everybody won!" he declared again. Everyone cheered. Animal stupidity knows no end.

Then the rabbit appeared, the land disappeared. and the rabbit was freaking out over some gloves and fan. Then the rabbit began ordering _me, _thinking i'm his maid called Mary Ann (which is an idiotic name because an idiot in my class was named Mary Ann so this maid girl must be an idiot too!) "Go back to my house and get me my gloves! do you hear me, Mary Ann? DO YOU!" inside i was boiling like mad and i wanted to punch that glasses rabbit boy.

In the surprisingly normal house which doesn't look like it belongs to a rabbit, i found the gloves and fan. And another bottle, which says "DRINK ME". Yea, maybe i'll go large and stomp that fink face rabbit to dust!

never leap before you think. indeed. that drink made me grow non-stop until i was in the middle of the worst and hardest pose since gymn class in the middle of the room. the white rabbit was howling threats and orders to get the 'monster' out of his house. someone called pat was ordered to get my arm. SWAT! then a lizard, billy, crept out through the chimney and i kicked him out. GROSS! then they showered pebbles at me! HEY, I'M ALIVE AND I HAVE PAIN! but the little pebbles turn into cakes and i gobbled them up and i shrinked quickly. I ran out the door and escapes into the woods. there was a puppy. AWH~! _never leap before you think..._ i was an ant compared to the puppy so i escaped the god damn cute puppy which looks like Jamey from Aunt may's Doghouse (her house that is full of chihuahuas, golden retrievers... SHITZU! DAMN SHITZUS ALL OVER THE FRICKIN PLACE!)


	3. Chapter 3

DAY 3

Past the humongous dog, met with a weird smoking blue caterpillar. it was sitting on a mushroom, smoking on a weird pipe thing. "who...are...you" she (or he. but it sounds like a damn old lady) asked between puffs. the smokes don't smell, surprisingly. "alice, i guess. no, uhh... i don't know..." i stuttered. One day i was a giant, then i shrinked, then i grow, then i shrink. i don't really know who i am right now.

"what is that?"

"hookah."

"why do you smoke?"

"it's fun."

"who are you?" (irritated)

"caterpillar"

SUPER IRRITATED! This caterpillar is either so stupid or so thinking highly of herself. "i can't remember things. this place is so weird..." i began again. the caterpillar stopped and asked me to recite 'you are old, father william' which is pretty common so i thought it would be easy and i recited. "no, no it's" "no... ... no that doesn;t sound right" what is wrong with me?

"i think i'm too damn small." i complained. the caterpillar snorted and asked me to eat the mushroom. i picked and ate and shrank. i panicked and ate the other side and grow and grow until i could see the whole forest. "SERPENT!" a pigeon squawked. "what? no! i.. am.. ow.. just.. a girl!" i breathed, holding in the pain of being pecked in the head. the pigeon huffed and flew away, with two eggs clawed beneath her wings.

i ate the shrinking piece again and tried to return to normal. then i found a door, again. now i'm too big so i ate the shrinking piece and went down and into the little 'normal' cottage.

when i was about to knock, a neatly-dressed fish came unto the cottage and knocked. a neatly-dressed frog answered and they talked pretty quick. but i caught the word 'queen' and 'invitation', and something with an 'et' or 'ette' as in 'ettiquette'. the fish left and the frog sits on the ground.

as i was about to talk, the frog warned me that it's no use. whaatt? whatever. i knocked. no reply. i opened the door myself after hearing the racket inside. a kitchen. a dark, smelly kitchen with a lot of pepper. the cook, i think, is mixing at a very weird soup and keeps on putting pepper until the whole pot is no more soup. the ceiling cat swings it's tail and keep grinning like crazy, like creepy.

"it's grinning cause it's a cheshire cat, who not know that simple logic is an idiot." an old lady, a duchess, as it referres to herself, grunted as if reading my 'idiot' thoughts. she was craddling a baby that was howling like mad. the cook fired up and threw everything, knifes, forks, spoons, dishes, pots, the pepper thing, to the baby. it was war. the duchess was so cold! she threw the baby to me, leaves me a message to take care of her little darling and runs off to play a game with the queen.

i walked and walked. the baby seemed to get heavier and smellier. DON'T TELL ME I NEED TO CHANGE HIS GOD DAMN DIAPER! but no, the baby was a pig. A PIG! just like his mum, a pig! i set it on the ground, shivering. ugh... swines...

as i walked, the appearing grin of the cheshire cat appeared on a branch. it's literally appearing, starts from his creepy grin, up his looks-like-having-flu nose, then his snout, his head and eyes and body. "which way should i go, cat?" i asked, thinking myself silly asking an animal. the cat keeps on grinning and pointed one way, "mad hatter, march hare." then he disappeared, faster than he had appeared.


	4. Chapter 4

Day 4

I really regret following the cat's direction. If he's pissed about me calling him so disrespectfully, he could at least yell! But not sending me into the weirdest place with the weirdest animals with the weirdest party.

Yes, a party. a large antique table sat in the middle of it all, messy with spilt and not cleaned up drinks and pieces of bread and pudding on the drinks and ripping from the checkered cloth. "NO ROOM, NO ROOM!" the hare kept shouting, jumping from one chair to another, stepping on the sleeping dormouse as he goes.

"yeah, there is." I snapped, sarcastically and plopped down on a decent chair. then the crazy hare offers me 'wine' (it's tea! rotten green tea!) . "it's not very civil to offer something you don't have, liar." I said, sarcastically, again. Really, how sarcastic should I to get facts straight for them?

"it's not very civil too, to sit on someone's party uninvited." the hare snapped, just as rude.

"it's not very civil to actually invite someone and not paying attention to them!" (A.K.A the sleeping mouse)

"it's just not so civil to just yell at someone, is it not, my dear girl." (with an amateurish-professional British accent.)

"yes, yes it is. because, one, you are a hare. a hare is an animal. therefore you are a some_thing_. unless you're talking about the hatter. two, this is not a city. but rules still matter here so ignore what I just said."

it stopped pretty quick. they asked some nonsense riddles with no answers, obviously. "it's a waste of time. why are you always having tea?" then they explained for half hour, about how the hatter quarreled with hare at the queen's concert and the time is always six since then. Always tea time since then.

Then the weirdest story from the weirdest hare in the weirdest place. the story was about sisters who draw in a treacle. then the treacle fall and the story doesn't have an ending.

I left, quick. And I hope they won't come crying to me that the queen is going to behead them because that's what they said will happen to me if I go on. As I walked, there was a tree with a door. as I entered, there was a fabulous glass hall. Half-fab, really. if it breaks I'm the dead one. But the glass is pretty tough so ignore what I just said.


	5. Chapter 5

Day 5

Out i came, and into a white rose tree. the flat gardeners were painting the roses red. "why are you painting the white roses red?" i was about to say when the guards began to quarrel.

"See? i told you that it's white rose tree!" the first one groans.

"why are you a gardener in the first place? you can't tell the difference between a white rose and red!" the second snapped irritatedly.

"chill, chill! we can finish this job. i'll just paint this one last rose!" the third sighed, continuing to paint hopelessly.

"no, we can't!"

"i don't want to die just yet!"

"i'll make sure the queen won't have your head..."

that explains it. stupid gardeners. when i was about to laugh, another thing interrupted. the queen and her card parade.

"who are you?" she bellowed with a manly voice. is it she or he?

i looked at the plump lady. no, fat lady. "none of your business, ma'am." i stuck up my chin. this is an imaginary world, what's to be afraid of some shadows of imaginary? but this is the queen and she is super pissed that she swings her scepter round and round, chopping off a few heads with it, "OFF WITH HER HEAD!" i blew my stack and shouted just as rudely, "NONSENSE!" the queen kept silent. spoiled brat. i feel pity for her parents, if she had any.

'Now, why don't we play a nice, friendly game of croquet, hm?" she invited. i sighed and aggreed. we went into a garden wiith nothing but cards, flamingos and hedgehogs. real live items. the queen grabs a flamingo, points his head downwards, aim at fat hedgehog and swing. a squawk and a 'yes', the ball rolled under the bent over cards. this game doesn't have any rule, or so it's not in here. people are quarreling over the hedgehogs, the flamingos won't exactly hit the spiky ball unless it's with the queen, the cards wich served as arches kept walking to let the queen's hedgehog go under. but with all this so noisy, the queen orders her nonsense again, "off with this head! off with that head!"

while i was trying to hold the flamingo properly, the cheshire caat literally appeared again. "OFF WITH INTRUDER'S HEAD!" the queen screamed and the king walks away to get the executioner.

the game was over and turned into the pleasure of watching a head chopped off it's body. the cat smiled, still, but it has no body. cunning. and the queen and king got into a heated debate whether they should still perform the execution. "let's just ask the ducchess, please?" i suggested, quite pathetically. when the duchess came shuffling, the cat is gone. poof.

Ok, get this sharp-chinned lady with somehow too happy a mood off of my shoulders! her chins are like pins or something! It's digging into my skin! plus, her talks are all about this moral, that moral, the moral of this story blah blah blah!

Then the queen appears! she came bursting in with a change of gown. Out goes the sharp-chinned massacre, in was another nightmare of beheadings. Really, heads are flying everywhere. "OFF WITH THIS HEAD! OFF WITH HER HEAD! no, wait, cancel that beheading (chop!) nevermind. hey HEY! OFF WITH YOUR HEAD!" the queen screams, pointing to every audience and players. the flamingos are so more red than pink.

The queen, bored of the game because there's only me, the king and herself is in it, brought me into the mock turtle's place.

A GRYPHON! how nice. "bring her to the turtle. she wish to know his STAWR-EE!" like the gryphon doesn't know english.


	6. Chapter 6

DAY 6

The gryphon dozed off on a rock.

"HELLOOOOWWWWW!" the queen hollered. the gryphon cried. i mean literally, tears were dripping off his beak. "sheesh.. what a sissy.. and they say he's the fiercest creature around.. heh.. ANYWAY, GRYPHON! WAKE UP! TAKE THIS GIRL TO THE MOCK TURTLE!"

the gryphon stirred and stared at the queen's eyes, who stared back twice as scary. the gryphon growled. THe queen lifted me up and plopped me down on the gryphon's back.

"AND DON'T EVER COME HERE AGAIN!" the queen screamed as we sailed the skies.

After centuries of the wind in my hair, we saw the turtle, a pig headed turtle, crying his eyes out on a mossy rock. Closer, a pool formed right around the rock and the mock turtle kept sobbing and wailing.

"dude, what's wrong?"

reply: *sniff* *sob* *sniff* WAAHHHHHH! (dafuq?!)

"what, the queen's chopping your head off?"

reply: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!

"it's useless. He's always like that. crying for no reason." the gryphon answered for him. I stared at the pool under the rock.

"HEY, MOCKY, TELL HER YOUR STORY."

sniffs, sobs. sniffs, sobs. then finally he blows his nose and relates his meaningless history. About he was once an actual turtle, that goes into this school at the bottom of the sea, taking up werid subjects that every human knows by instincts.

Then the creatures told me 'the lobster quadrille', which is a mating dance and they demonstrated it around me (._.), while the turtle sings off key.

When they're bored, they asked me to tell them a story. This is getting nowhere. I told them, and how the 'you're old, father william' was super messed up. THey asked me to recite another poem, which i got it all wrong, AGAIN. When the mock turtle started singing again, 'THE TRIAl'S STARTING!' cut through the air and i hopped on the gryphon and zipped through the land, the mock turtle still wailing.


	7. Chapter 7

DAY 7

the courtroom was.. normal. heh. i thought it'll be like an execution room, blood on walls and screams that still lingers around. WOW.

the judge is the king, small atop his tall gold throne, with his 'lovely' (NOTE THE QUOTES. I still don't know why the wife choose such a husband and vice versa, AKA, why the husband chose such a wife.) wife right beside him. at the bottom of the lovely throne was a knave, probably for chopping heads off, and the fluffy rabbit, which has a parchment on his hand. The jurors were.. animals. Stinking little animals that has brains smaller than their eyes, and even less smartness.

"Knave of hearts was accused of stealing the Queen's tarts!" the rabbit read out loud. gasps. "WITNESS" he continued, "Madhatter, would you please"

and in came the hatter, the hare, and dormouse, cup of tea in hand. The hatter apologizes for lateness, and, having not state his witness, the rabbit moves on to the next, hopefully helpful, witness.

the duchess' cook trotted in, inviting sneezes. He testified the tarts were made of pepper, which sounds weird as the tarts were raspberry red, though they look more bloody red to raspberry.

"ALICe, THIRD WITNESS" the rabbit called, getting tired of announcing useless witness. I jolted. WHAAA?

i really mean WHAAAA? I'm now like my original size on earth, but i'm like 2 meters tall in here! standing up, the animals rush out of their places and i had to put them back in, which was troublesome as they thought i was gonna eat them once i hold their small fragile bodies.

"I know nothing of the stolen tarts," i thought for a while, DAMMIT "your highness." i added before the axe seals my fate. The king stroked his beard. He scans me head to toe, and taking out his notebook, started reading 'rule 474': all creatures more than a mile high must leave court.

WEIRDDDD... "NO WAY" i growled, "LIAR YOU MADE THAT RULE UP!"

"no i did not."

"YES YOU FRICKIN DID! YOu **"

before the argument continues, the rabbit rushed in with a letter as an 'evidence', which doesn't prove anything.

"hmm.. this is very important.." the king muttered, stroking his beard.

"no it isn't, it doesn't say anything about the tarts or the knave. it's useless."

"hmmmmmmm"

man, this guy is stupid. i wonder how he can stand up there.

"Jurors, please consider your verdict."

"NO,honey, there must be first, a sentence then a verdict afterwards," the queen contradicted, eyeing the knave super suspiciously.

OK, _this _whole thing, is not making ANY sense. First, because i don't know anything about judges and justice and the way they decide who's guilty who's wrong. second, they're way too stupid to realize that and they contradict too much. I've grown to my super full size now and the more i think of it, the more bloody hot i get.

"And so..." the rabbit began...

"NONSENSE! YOU GUYS ARE NOT MAKING ANY SENSE AT ALL!" I screamed, echoing throught the whole earth, possibly.

"OFF WITHE HER HEAD!" the queen demanded, "OFF WITH IT! OFF WITH HER HEAADDDD!" but not one knave moved a muscle.

"YOU GUYS," i flared up, especially with this drama queen and off-with-her-head-ing. "ARE NOTHING," i stamped the ground and a tremor build up and a panic started and the whole building begant os hake with every stamp, and the walls are cracking and the ceiling broke down. it was TOTAL chaos.

"BUT A PACK OF CARDSSSS!" i screamed in rage, at this, the pack of cards, all 52 of the flat harmless things, attacked me.

*poof*

welcome back to reality.

The first thing i woke up to was my sis's face, brushing off fallen leaves off mine.

"where is this?"

"duh, your own home?"

"oh. i'm back." *wakes up* "I'M BACKKK! YEESSS! NO MORE CARDSS! WOOOO HOOOOOOOO!" i screamed for joy, my sister staring dumbfounded.

"OMIGOSH, SIS, YOU WON'T BUH-LIEVE WHAT I'VE BEEN THROUGH! I JUST HAD THE MOST AMAZING DREAM EVERR!" i jumped up and down, and started to tell my journey, and happy i still can remember the 'you're old father william'.

**and now to the sister's point of view.**

"oh? ehemm.. uh umm.. really?" i responded to her endless stories. this kid has the best imagination from all the people i know.

"okay, time for tea. mind setting the table? i havet to get the damn book back."

"surreeee~~~" she skipped off, super happy.

yes, the book's still there THANK GODD!

ahh.. a rabbit.. with.. a coat and a pocket watch? whaaa?

**and now the writer's point of view**

and the sister fell asleep right under the big oak tree where alice first dreamt of the white rabbit that led her into "wonderland". Ah, yes, this world does exist. a world where everything is illogical and unexpected. You'll just have to find it in your inner child.


End file.
